It's Friday. Sex?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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