Someone shit on the floor
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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