Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
