We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
