I bet he comes in French.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
