once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
