u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
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i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
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How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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