stop calling my apartment porn island.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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