I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
im six kinds of drunk right now
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
