I wish I could punch you in the face.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Girls should come with a carfax report
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Randomize
