Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
