he wants to bone in the snuggie
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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