Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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