She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
