But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
