Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize