They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
