69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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