K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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