Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw

(281): View more from Texas

I love Texas.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.

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(708): View more from Illinois

its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something

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(914): View more from New York

The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.

(1-201): View more from New Jersey

Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!

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(850): View more from Florida

We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go

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