He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
