can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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