I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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