OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
