Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
