he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
