I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
