Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
