I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
