Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
