Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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