Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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