I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
