I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
