She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
well you can't waste a boner
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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