i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
you mean i was at the winter classic?
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Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Randomize