You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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