Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God gave him joint rollers for hands
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Randomize