my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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