lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
