yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
