I look better un-naked...
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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