she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
