brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
