how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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