this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
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No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
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There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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