would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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