I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
