I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
