Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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