Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
