Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
