I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Found your dick twin last night
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
