i just wanna soil my oats bro
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
