Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I smell stomach acid.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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