What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize