Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
