id be glad to
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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