just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Randomize
